Reproductive Access

AITAH for cutting my parents off after a family vacation? I (24M) lost my brother (19M) to a vehicle accident three years ago. It was DEVASTATING as you could imagine. From his death, my parents received $19k from insurance. With some of this money, my mother decided to take a cruise. This sounds nice, but my mother is a narcissist. Not self absorbed or just rude but a full blown clinical narcissist. My dad is avoidant in an extreme way. These statements describing my parents could have 24 years of history and more. I decided to maintain contact because it had not set in how much damage they caused me. Anywho… This is the trip details. 7 day cruise. My parents, my brother and sis in law, my wife, and I would be joining. The theme was basically a healing family bonding trip. It was anything but. My parents aren’t wealthy nor are my wife and I. My brother and sis in law have some wealth for their age but are not “rich”. Why does this matter? My wife and I were on a tight budget and couldn’t not afford to go on an expensive vacation or really any trip for that matter. However, mom said multiple times, in many ways, “this is an all expense paid trip”. You may see where this is going but lock in with me here. I had hope that considering my parents received a large sum and declared it was all expense paid that maybe it would be so. Just in case we decided to pinch pennies and save extra money for plan B. We agreed to go and prepared for a good time to heal and bond. My brother and I, with our wives, head to the ship and parents went separately and we all made it and arrived on time! We shared laughs and memories the first day and it really felt like this was going to bring our family together. Until the first excursion. We had to pay for excursions the day before and as we were in line to pay my mother asks if we had the money to cover. To say I was furious was an understatement. I kept my cool and said “you told us you were covering everything though”. She scoffs and states “so I guess paying for rooms, meals, and everything else just isn’t enough.” She then walks to my brother and asks “do yall have money because it looks like some people have never traveled before. Maybe I should’ve picked cheaper stuff to do” I then pull us all out of line and try to remain calm. I asked what everyone wanted to do this trip. They all gave input and the cost would come out to 3x what we saved as plan B. So instead we went to our room and crafted the save of the century. One excursion that would cover all of our desires that would be a little less than what we saved up. After a little lip from mom, we all decided it would work. We got back in line to pay and you wouldn’t believe it, but my mother waits until it’s her turn and says “can you cover the bill and I’ll just pay you back later.” In complete shock my sister in law just pays for it. Now you may be asking why neither I nor my brother caused a scene or whatever and you would have to be raised by a narcissist to understand maybe, but we were trying to keep the peace by any means. We go to dinner and discuss the craziness that just took place and she proceeds to bash me for not having enough money and calling me broke while saying my brother has enough money so it shouldn’t matter too much anyway. After push back she just leaves and we didn’t see her until the excursion. She had a BLAST. You would’ve thought nothing ever happened. We tried to reset and have fun again despite the mess and it worked until dinner. She rants about how we don’t care about our brother passing as much as she does and how this trip was to honor him but she’s doing all the work. My dad? Not a word. Ever. My brother has enough and he leaves while I sit slack jawed by what I’m seeing. As my brother leaves my mom declares that she is cutting him from the will and it will be better that way because he has money and I need all I can get. (They have no money btw). We spend the next few days ditching my parents and having fun despite them. I understand that grief can drive a person to crazy things, but I believe a line was crossed. This isn’t the end however. The icing on the cake for me was once we arrived home, I decided to visit my grandmother, my mom’s mother. She was strangely excited to hear of the trip. She poked and i reluctantly told her everything. She looked at me with horror and said “she didn’t spend a dime on this trip. I paid for it all for yall to go. I figured yall would need it”. My parents $0 on the trip. She used my grandmothers kindness as a trap to get glory and to bash us. I haven’t spoken to them since. So… AITAH for cutting them off? Also, my writing skills aren’t too great and I’m not well versed with Reddit so have mercy.

Does IT cause anxiety? Does anyone else bring their IT mindset into everyday life? I’ve been told I’m a negative person and look for issues, but I think working in IT trains you to always think about what could go wrong. I’m constantly making backup plans. Restaurant closed. I have a Plan B place. Something breaks at home. I’ve already got the plumber, insurance, everything ready in the home disaster recovery document. We’re always hearing about IT failures, breaches and disasters. You never hear “this company had a really great IT transformation.” No user submits a ticket to say thank you for the IT working great. So does anyone else find themselves carrying that prepare for the worst mindset into everyday life?

Préstamo usurero o arreglar con estudios jurídicos? Buenas! No me quiero extender demasiado, para resumir... Estoy endeudado (Tarjeta Naranja y MercadoPago). Debo alrededor de 5 millones, consulté con mi banco un préstamo personal para reestructurar y me ofrecen $4.000.000 a pagar en 36 cuotas de $350.000 (una locura) Pero no me queda otra. Haciendo números es pagable aunque voy a estar un par de meses viviendo a arroz, ahora... mi miedo es que surja algún imprevisto y tenga una deuda de +$10.000.000. Si no tomo el préstamo, tendría que dejar de pagar Naranja y tendría unos 4 millones + intereses. Que sería lo más inteligente? Cobro unos 800mil al mes, estoy buscando otro laburo pero está muy complicado. A mi nombre tengo un auto, una moto y estoy en blanco. Mi idea es agarrar el préstamo, cancelar refinanciaciones que hice y los préstamos de MP. Dejar de usar las tarjetas y rezar para que no pase nada. El plan B es no pedir el préstamo (o pedirlo igual), y después arreglar con cada uno. Leo consejos, gracias!

VENT - A waning to others - do not see Doug Russel in Think Whole Person Healthcare center. First off I am sorry if this is against any rules, I went over them and I feel like mentioning provider does not fall under "personal attack" rule - I am spreading awareness about a specific service and I don't want to badmouth the entire hospital based on one doctor. If this is against the rules please let me know and I will edit or remove it, thank you! I apologize if it is not coherent, this is just happened and I am shaking and freaking out, idk what to do. Short backstory - this is my second appointment with this doctor regarding an ongoing health issue I have of throat and chest pains. Last visit he referred me to the GI and upon my request, Allergist. I saw both of them and this was my follow up visit to see what are the next steps. His demeanor was weird off the bat, he did not let me talk at all and spend 20 minutes talking about how I should quit smoking and because I haven't that means I'm not trying hard enough (His literal words) - I agree that smoking is not good (duh) and this is something I've been working on and have made a lot of progress, but this is not the cause of my symptoms as they started when I did not smoke - I then managed to finally switch the topic to my allergist visit and told him how they did the test and found out a bunch of allergies and recommended allergy shots. He then spent another 10 minutes talking about all the things I can do to prevent allergies, like washing clothes, etc (something my allergist already told me and I told him that as well, he just kept going) - finally I got to the point where I could ask questions and my basic question was "Do you think the nasal drip from allergies can cause chest problems, like if snot is going down my esophagus can it irritate it?" - he just kept going about allergies and how I should do the shots to see if that helps. I was like "I understand that, I just want to know if it is POSSIBLE for the nasal drip to cause esophagus irritation, like is this something you heard of?" - he went on another rant about how I should just do the shots and see if that helps. Seeing how I am not getting an answer, I switched the question and asked "I will do the shots, but if that does not help what would be our next step?" - He once again started going off on "just do the shots" - I said: "I will, absolutely, I just want to know what our Plan B is in case this does not work" - he said "I don't have a Plan B for you, do the shots". I then switched my question again and asked "Why do you think my pain is in the exact same spot in my chest every time this irritation flares up?" - I started pointing to my chest to show him where the pain is - I was just interested in his opinion professionally, I feel like this is a valid question. This is where juicy stuff begins - before I even finished speaking he interrupts and says "I am done with this visit". I pause for a few seconds because I think this is a joke and his demeanor albeit not attentive and bit dismissing wasn't rude or disrespectful up until this point - he just kept staring at me. I was like "Excuse me?" - he just repeats "I am done with this visit" - I go "What do you mean?" - he starts getting up and goes again with this visit" - I then start to get he is actually serious and I ask "But I have other issues I haven't had the chance to brought up, and I paid for this visit..." - he then interrupts me again and says "I don't care, I've already been here over half an hour (it's been like 35 minutes since the start of the visit) and then just walks out of the office. I sit there shocked for a few seconds, then get up and leave. On my way out I turn to him and say "There is no reason for you to be so rude, I was just asking questions" - he then goes "You kept asking the same question, I kept giving you the answer and you did not listen" - I say "No, it wasn't the same question, I asked different stuff about my chest discomfort..." He then interrupts again and goes "You know what, I'm going to get someone to help you out of this building" - he turns to his nurse who was there as well and goes "Call security" Important note: The nurse was outside of the office during the visit, but she was present via remote screen, he was telling her to open certain medical files, etc. So she sits outside of the office on a computer and he talks to her via zoom or something, idk - and her laptop transmits to the TV in the office. So she heard everything that happened. When he says "Call Security" - his nurse who was there actually stood up for me and said "There is no need for this, he was just asking questions" - He just says something along the lines of "The same question, not listening" and leaves. I then leave, I talked to a receptionist, she took down my complaint and said some "Manager" or "Head...someone, I can't remember" will call me, and this is that. Also, when I was speaking with him outside, he walked up really close to me, like almost to my face - I had to put my hand up and tell him to please back away a little bit, I felt really physically threatened. I am shaken and idk what else to do - I have never been treated this way, he truly had this bright aura of hostility, like he was truly angry with me. I am always a bit soft guy, soft spoken, don't raise my voice, don't interrupt, etc. Idk what warranted such reaction from him, I did not bombard him with endless questions, and definitly was not asking the same question. What can be done? I don't want others to go through the same thing and I do not want him to get internal slap on the wrist and that's it - there has to be some way to make sure it is properly escalated. He didn't even listen to my other complains - he just refused care and left. I have never had such experience. And I do not feel bad about mentioning his name, I hope this isn't against the rules - do not harass him or anything please, I just want to spread awareness for an off chance someone here is from the same area and sees him. His name is Doug Russel MD, from Omaha Nebraska - he works at ThinkWholePersonHealthcare - you can find his info on their website. If this is against the rules please tell me I did not see anything against mentioning specific people - I truly believe people need to be aware because as someone with anxiety issues I am in so much distress I want to cry. Do not make the same mistake, and I would appreciate any words of advice or encouragement if you have it - thank you for making it this far and listening to my story!

How much do you actually spend every month? Hi, I’m 23 F hoping to move out of my parents house when I’m 25, mainly for independence and freedom and for more opportunities building my business in my own space (very limited at home). Also I’m thinking around the GTA, maybe Oakville area. I’m not a big spender and very much a homebody, I do most self care myself at home (nails, hair, etc.), I cook at home majority of the time. I go to restaurants maybe 3x a month. Entertainment/road trips once in a while. Car is paid off so I just pay $330 ish insurance for that a month and $50 for phone bill. I’m curious **how much people actually spend, earn and save every month on everything** (rent alone, utilities, car, personal, home, etc.)?!? What’s a good amount to be saving every month for savings and future growth? My main goal is saving for a downpayment on a house (with my future husband in a few years hopefully or plan b is a condo/tiny home by myself) and overall my future.

Anyone here jump right to donor eggs? 30F here, plan A is to get married and have kids the old fashioned way, plan B is to pursue becoming a SMBC in the next 5 years if I don’t meet the right guy. I have never frozen eggs but have had baseline testing done for it in the past. I know I want to be a mom more than I want to do just about anything and have been on this sub pretty consistently for the last 6+ mos. So my AMH sucks (currently 0.8, was as low as 0.5 a couple of years ago) and I’ve had FSH between 7-16, which from the homework I’ve done would likely make me a poor responder to IVF/egg freezing. I also have bipolar disorder, and while I’m very stable now, I’m concerned the whole process of egg retrieval and the hormones involved would be very destabilizing for my mood (yes I know pregnancy would also be very destabilizing lol, but I can worry about that in 5 years once I’ve had more time stable under my belt, as I was just diagnosed with bipolar last year). I would also hate to spend 20k on egg freezing with the possibility of only retrieving 1-2 eggs, which I know is possible with my numbers. All of the above being said, I’m considering freezing embryos with both donor eggs + sperm within the next year so to have as a safeguard should I be single in 5 years and want to pursue this path (this also gives me some time to be more established in my career/save more money). While I would prefer the child to be genetically mine, I also know that they run the risk of inheriting bipolar disorder from me, and that’s something I wouldn’t wish on my kids (though I would love the shit out of them regardless, my point being though I’m not overly attached to my genes). And again, the whole idea of going through the egg freezing process is just scary and a lot to wrap my head around. Just curious if anyone on here had gone right to donor eggs versus using their own? If so, do you have any regrets or any words of insight?